16 DAYS AGO • 2 MIN READ

Guilty Money

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Cole Ryan

Writing insights on all things business, life, philosophy, and entrepreneurship.

Had an interesting conversation with a friend last week. He just hit his first seven-figure trade. Instead of celebrating, he felt sick. Anxious. Almost guilty. Like something was wrong with him for not feeling elated about this massive win.

I knew exactly what he was feeling because I went through the same thing.

Before you continue reading, this isn't about people who grew up with resources. This is specifically for those who know what it feels like when every dollar matters. When scarcity isn't a concept, but a daily reality. If you grew up with money, your journey might look different - not better or worse, just different. This is about rewiring a brain that learned survival before it learned abundance.

Your brain has to be rewired to handle abundance when you've been programmed for scarcity. It's like trying to run high-voltage electricity through wires designed for household current. The system gets overwhelmed.

Nobody talks about this part of making money. The psychological rewiring required to handle success when you come from nothing. When your entire operating system is built on scarcity, abundance feels like a glitch in the matrix.

First time I made serious money, I couldn't sleep for weeks. Every morning I'd check my account, convinced it would be gone. My brain couldn't process the reality of having more than enough. It felt wrong. Dangerous. Like I was breaking some fundamental law of my existence.

What I learned through this process - and what I told my friend - is that this response isn't just normal. It's necessary. It's your brain going through a fundamental restructuring of how it views resources, safety, and possibility.

The key is understanding that you're not just adapting to having money. You're adapting to being a different kind of person - someone who can handle abundance without self-destructing.

Here's what worked for me:

First, anchor yourself by taking care of others. When I made my first real money, I took care of my entire immediate family. This does something crucial - it turns abstract numbers into concrete impact. It gives meaning to money beyond the score.

Second, understand that moving goalposts is natural but needs management. Your brain will always want more - that's how we're wired. The trick isn't to stop moving the goalposts. It's to appreciate each field you play on while you're there.

Most people get this wrong. They think they should either be completely satisfied or constantly hungry. Neither works. You need both - appreciation for what you've achieved and hunger for what's next. They're not mutually exclusive.

Third, give yourself time to adjust. Your relationship with money is one of the deepest programming you have. It started forming before you could speak. Changing it takes time. Be patient with the process.

The most successful people I know went through this same rewiring. They all had to learn how to exist in abundance when their software was written for scarcity. It's not about forgetting where you came from. It's about expanding what you believe is possible.

Your brain will try to protect you from abundance because scarcity feels safer. It's known territory. Abundance is unknown, and unknown equals danger to your primitive brain. This is why lottery winners often self-destruct. They never rewire their operating system to handle their new reality.

This is about more than money. It's about identity. About becoming someone who can handle success without self-sabotage. Someone who can exist in abundance without feeling guilty. Someone who can impact others without depleting themselves.

Getting good at having resources takes just as much work as getting good at acquiring them.

The goal isn't to stop feeling strange about success. It's to build new circuitry that can handle higher voltage. To expand your capacity for abundance. To become someone who can do more good because they've learned to handle more resources.

The discomfort is the rewiring happening. Let it work. Trust the process. The new circuitry needs time to form.

Cole Ryan

Writing insights on all things business, life, philosophy, and entrepreneurship.